How to Play Russian Roulette

As any good American mom or pop will tell you, Russian Roulette is a fun, exciting game for the whole family! It’s easy as 1-2-3-4-5-6-click-click-click-bang! If you win, you will want to play it again and again! This is one family game night you’ll never forget.

The Game Pieces

All you need for a game of Russian Roulette is a gun, and a few FunAmmo. Any gun can be used, of course, but the game comes standard with your special edition Starter Glock, which has been specially rigged to fire the one bullet randomly. Just stick the FunAmmo into one of the empty slots in your gun of choice, and watch the fun begin!

Maintaining the Pieces

Use a soft cloth to wipe off any grease, gunpowder, sweat, or blood that might accidentally get on the Game Set. If, by chance, you lose the FunAmmo, this set comes with five free spares, and more can be purchased wherever Russian Roulette is legal! Make sure to keep the gun on safety, as in the diagram to the right, as accidental discharge of FunAmmo can result in losing it. And we know you’d hate to run out of FunAmmo when you need it most.

Game-play

Now you may be thinking, “well, this all sounds very complicated! I don’t even know how to use a gun!” Never fear, as the easy-to-read instructions are an the box right next to the gun. Of course, even these are simple, and after one quick read you’ll be ready to go! Basically, all that you have to do is pick up the gun, point it at your head, and pull the trigger. If you hear an amazingly loud bang, see a flash of light, and feel for a split second your very soul being dragged away into the darkest depths of oblivion, you lose! Now, the gun is passed along to the person either to your left or right. They’ll add a new FunAmmo, randomly moved to a different chamber, and the fun begins again! However, if you hear a simple click, you “survive!” Congratulations, now all you have to do is live with the guilt of surviving the fate that someone you love will instead have to endure! But not so fast! You’re not gonna put that gun down just yet, are you? I didn’t think so! You see, this game is played so that only one player can be left without a hole in their head. So, repeat this process until only one player is left unscathed by the FunAmmo. Was it you? It was??? Then you win!

I win!!

Congrats, you live to play another day! You may want to buy more FunAmmo, as much or all of your old FunAmmo was likely expended in your last game. You may even want to buy another gun, as the Starter Glock will likely wear out after extensive use.

I lost….I’m sad

Hey, don’t be sad! You can’t be sad when you’re dead!! Ha ha ha……… just kidding! Well, not really actually, as the vast majority of losers of Russian Roulette do actually die. Don’t get discouraged, though! Losers are strongly encouraged to try again, and I’m sure that next time you play, your luck will improve!

Alright, let’s play!

OK, let’s! Remember, though, you can’t sue Russian Roulette for any damages to you walls, furniture, skull, etc. Sorry, but we’re not liable for lawsuits in any way, shape, or form! In fact, when you read the title of this article, you actually gave us the rights to your very soul. Too bad! However, we here at Fisher Price do appreciate any constructive criticism you may have, so please, don’t be afraid to contact us at any time. Now let’s play! You can go first…

BANG!!!

Oops, looks like you lose! Better luck next time, and thanks for playing Russian Roulette!

[thanks to Uncyclopedia via cc]

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